Rogue Rita™ ships hand-jittered, single-file arcade games about a pentagon named Rita who has never once been safe. No launcher. No 40GB day-one patch. No login wall between you and dying beautifully. Just an HTML file and consequences.
Each one is a single HTML file. Double-click it like it's 1997 and you found something on a floppy disk you shouldn't have.
The quiet one. A neon grid, a gradient sun, and ten named waves of geometry that have decided you're the problem. A lo-fi tape-deck synthwave loop rides under the neon. Your heartbeat can still keep time.
Same sunset, now wired to a synthesizer. Power-ups, shields, overdrive, triple shot — and a soundtrack with opinions about your performance.
The art-house one. Black paper, white ink, one cyan accent reserved for things you may legally damage. One titan, four phases, telegraphed lasers, homing ink, shockwave rings.
Every studio says "player-first." We put the player first in the line of fire. Here's the platform pitch, translated from investor to human:
Each game is a single HTML file. Email it. USB it. Carrier-pigeon it. It runs. Our "cloud infrastructure" is your Downloads folder.
Every sound is generated live by an actual audio graph — oscillators, filters, noise buffers. Zero MP3s were harmed. Zero MP3s were even invited.
Every circle is drawn slightly wrong on purpose, every frame. It's called a design language. Ours just happens to have a tremor.
No energy meters. No daily streaks guilt-tripping you at 11pm. No "watch an ad to continue." You die, you press R, that's the whole economy.
Safe-area insets, DPR scaling, double-tap dashes. Rita will humiliate you at retina resolution on the bus.
Your best score is stored in localStorage, on your machine, where it belongs. The only person you're competing with is Tuesday-you. Tuesday-you was better.
The games are files. You already have them. This section exists because every SaaS site legally requires a pricing table, and we respect the law of the land.
* ALL THREE GAMES STAY FULLY PLAYABLE AT $0. SYNTHLORD IS OPTIONAL ONE-TIME SUPPORT THROUGH STRIPE.
Reviews collected from real emotional states. Names changed to protect the eliminated.
"I used my VHS Rewind on wave 2 like an absolute amateur and then survived to wave 9 out of pure shame. Best game design I've ever been insulted by."
"The soundtrack literally stopped playing bass when my combo dropped. My own game gave me the silent treatment. 10/10, buying nothing again."
"I parried a laser volley back into the titan's crown and stood up from my chair. My cat left the room. Worth it."
"No account. No launcher. No 'your session has expired.' I just opened a file and got destroyed by a hexagon. This is what the internet was for."
Answered calmly, which felt like a betrayal of the brand, but here we are.
Yes. All three games are fully playable for free. If you want to back the arcade, the optional SYNTHLORD support tier lets you choose any one-time amount from $1 up.
Circles are prey, squares are furniture, triangles are villains. Five sides is exactly enough edges to mean business without joining the enemy team. This is settled geometry.
V1 runs a lo-fi tape-deck synthwave loop, v2 uses a generative combo-driven band, and the Boss Pack uses a phase-driven industrial war drone. Each soundtrack follows its own game mechanic.
They sync to localStorage, also known as "your computer," also known as where your data should have been this whole time.
Rita has died approximately 40,000 times in QA and shows no signs of stopping. Draw your own conclusions.
Forward, at 60 frames per second, with occasional hit-stop for dramatic effect.